


You Think So, Funny That! I Don't

by Theadosia57



Series: 'Wedding' Series [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7933303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theadosia57/pseuds/Theadosia57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having put her foot down, for once. Bella now has to tackle Alice, She's putting up with no nonsense. </p><p>One-shot Eclipse AU  Companion Piece to' Just Whose Wedding Is This?  ' Part 2 of the 'Wedding' series</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Think So, Funny That! I Don't

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Seeing as everyone asked nicely  : )  
> Companion Piece to' Just Whose Wedding Is This?'

 

Well you know the saying 'One down, One to go!' I hope it's that easy but I really god damn doubt it. Yesterday should have been one of the happiest days of my life, but Oh No, the Cullens, well two of them ruined it for me again. They don't seem to realise that to experience all these human firsts I have to actually be part of the whole event, not an afterthought fitted in by Alice.

 

To tell you the truth she's been getting on my nerves more and more lately and this was the last straw. How many times and in how many ways can I tell her no! I don't need a new wardrobe of clothes for no reason other than she's bored. Or if she insists one more time I need a makeover, I'm going to swing for her.  What The Flipping hell does she actually think is wrong with me? I have no ruddy idea, but it must be so horrendous as it needs fixing and clogging up with makeup every couple of days.  Please excuse my language but she's driven me to the edge of my sanity with all this shit.

 

She says we're best friends, but seriously I wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way Alice does me. I never noticed at first how pushy and judgemental she was, how she always made me change my mind to do things her way, not occasionally but every time. My clothes, my footwear, my hair nothing is good enough for her if I'm so embarrassing to be seen with why can't she just leave me alone. If she had her way everything I owned would be blue because Edward likes it on me, and...., well tough cause I like green and brown mainly, but hell I've been known to splash out and wear red, god forbid!

 

It is really getting to the point I want to say no as soon as she opens her mouth and shit can she whine, she'd put a toddler to shame. Of course, everyone gives into her for peace and quiet. But I, well you know I can be a little stubborn at times and when pushed too far, so not pretty when that happens, let me tell you. So I have come to the Cullen house to have it out with the women first, this is my life, my wedding and most importantly it's going to be my way or it ain't going to happen. What's she going to do drug me to get me there, to her idea of a quiet wedding?

 

Of course, that's my ace if they don't back off there will be no wedding and as the whole thing is more for him than me, what can she do? Don't get me wrong I do want to marry him, but I could wait for another couple of years if push comes to shove. I know that would put the brakes on my change etc, but I'm working on him, so I might get him to bend some of the rules a little now we're engaged.

 

So here I am, about to beard the lion in her den, so to speak. Deep breaths Bella, stay calm. Before I can even knock, the door flies open and she's trying to drag me inside. "Well about time! I thought you'd never get here" she starts in on me right away. "I apologise Alice but as it's only 9:30 am and I skipped breakfast to get here, when did you think I could come, I actually sleep you know?" I answered.

 

"I've got so much to do, you'll have to stay here from now on so that I can run stuff you need to know, by you" she orders me and I stop where I am and wait till she notices. "Come on, come on, hurry up or nothing will get done" she yells at me and I turn and walk into the kitchen where Esme is, I assume making my breakfast, as no one else eats. "Morning Esme, how are you?" I ask as I go to sit at the counter, only to be, forcibly pulled away. "Alice! Let go of me now!" I shout at her totally forgetting about staying calm. "Alice! what are you doing? We talked about this" said Esme. "Yes but! She'll do it my way anyway so I'm just cutting out the discussion!" she huffs and I just stare at her.

 

"Have you seen me agree on this, Alice?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Not yet! But you will" she says with confidence. So for the first time, I make a decision about my wedding plans. "No! No! No! That won't do at all, Edward can't have such a parochial little wedding as that. That's not acceptable at all. This is what's going to happen!" and she starts ranting on as I sit staring into space. Esme looks embarrassed and smiles gently to me. "Sometimes dear, it's just best to let her have her way," she says quietly.

 

"Best for who Esme? You? Me? I don't think so, thanks for breakfast but I don't think I could stomach it!" I say as I get up and head for the door "Where are you going, Bella?" Alice shouts after me. "Home Alice, to plan my parochial little wedding. I won't bother sending you an invite as it would be far too low class for you to attend!" I say as I jog down the steps. "But you came to hear my plans for the wedding! Why are you leaving?" she enquires.

 

"No Alice, I came to tell you I would be planning my own wedding. But you won't listen, so I'll make this easy for you! I don't want! or need! your help and I especially don't want any of your expensive and outlandish ideas! I intend to have a small quiet wedding in Forks, not the OTT, Ken and Barbie wedding you're planning!" I state firmly and then over my shoulder shout "I'll be in touch Esme, once my mum arrives we'll get together at my house ok?" I walk away leaving Alice gaping on the doorstep, as I think to myself about getting a wedding dress from the thrift shop in town.

 

I'm just about to get in my truck when I hear a horn toot and I turn to see Rosalie in her garage. She gives me a thumbs up sign and then goes back to what she was doing. Well hell, I never expected her to be on my side, mind you I doubt Alice steamrolls Rose either. So I happily swing myself up into the cab of my truck and head back home.

 

I'm not in the least surprised to hear my phone going off, 2 texts and 1 call to voicemail oh joy! Well, they can wait until I reach home, I drive slowly, meandering around some side streets. That's when I spot the Church, I've never been much of a church-goer or believer really. But that's a theological discussion for another time I think. The Church is so pretty, the light striking it from this angle is almost otherworldly, I think someone's trying to sway my religious opinions, I laugh out loud.

 

Jumping out and stepping around to the rear of the property, Angela and her twin brothers are playing in the manse garden. "Hey Bella, What brings you by?" she calls over. "Hi Angela, is your dad about, I wanted a word?" I tell her and she jumps up and down shouting "He asked you? He proposed?" I smile and nod as she rushed over to see my ring, "Oh Bella it's beautiful and so you" she says hugging me tightly. Angela has to be one of the nicest people on the planet.

 

"I'll get dad, stay there ok?" she says scurrying off. That's when it hits me and I pull out my phone and text Edward,

 

**_'I'm asking Angela to be my bridesmaid, are you okay with this?'_ **

****

**_'Yes, Love, whoever you want x'_**  was his swift reply.

 

I glance at my call list and see everything, all 3 texts and now 2 calls were from Alice, well later I decide.  An hour later I've gained a bridesmaid, an appointment for Edward and I, to talk to Rev Webber and a better idea of what a church wedding entails.

 

I had laughed when telling the Reverend that it was Edward not me, who had the strong stance on marriage before sex and living together. That because we were going off to college together he wanted me to be his wife first. He seemed surprised but pleased about Edward's beliefs.

 

When I get home, Charlie's not back from fishing with Billy as it's only lunchtime, so I head upstairs to check my emails and finally look at Alice's messages. Each text is more  and more insulting and demanding, I just can't believe her.

 

**_' You're such a selfish bitch, Bella!'_ **

****

**_'You're spoiling this wedding for everyone! Why won't you do as you're told, why on earth would you think you knew best?'_ **

****

**_'For god's sake Bella, don't you have any respect for your betters! I have started the plans for this wedding and it won't be in any pokey little church!_ **

****

If that's the texts god only knows what the phone messages say, I decided to myself that I'm deleting them all, but I don't. The utter callousness of the calls floored me completely, I thought she was my friend.

 

" ** _You're ideas are worthless, so small town shabby Bella, why he wants to marry you if beyond me! I have had it with your childish behaviour, you will do as I say or there will be consequences!"_**

****

**_"I am going to be the Matron of Honour at this wedding and it's not your decision! You seem to think you're important in this event, you're just the human bride, he'll probably hate your silly little ideas anyway! Now get your stupid butt over here first thing tomorrow or else!"_ **

****

So she thought she could threaten me and get away with it, Oh I don't think so. For the rest of the day, I make no decisions at all, it's not as hard as you would think, doing things randomly and spur of the moment is quite normal for humans, I just took it to the next level.

 

Edward text that he would pick me up at 9am as they, the guys would be back from hunting around 4am, he said Carlisle was calling a family meeting. I presumed that Alice had told Carlisle to call a meeting, that would be more like it. After all, she ran the family that was most apparent.

 

I slept extremely well last night and felt calm and rested knowing I was in the right. So with a light heart and a feeling of wellbeing I dressed for the day. Being perverse I put on a bright yellow top I had never worn here in forks along with a pair of  brown corded jeans and my beloved tatty converse trainers. I pulled my hair back at the front but left the rest down, nice and casual, the way I liked it.

 

True to his word Edward arrived at 9am exactly and said how beautiful and spring like I looked. That he had never seen me look more relaxed and happy. We chatted away and I mentioned our appointment with Rev Webber, he looked confused.

 

Ah, I guessed Alice had been telling them all I caved and she was now doing the wedding. Ha! Fat Chance! As we arrived at the house Jasper was waiting at the top of the stairs, he was frowning, his head cocked to one side. "Bella Darlin', you're radiating calm and self-assurance like there was no tomorrow, wow nice," He said.

 

 "Did Alice send you out to control my emotions, Jasper?" I asked in return, "Don't be silly Bella, Why would she do that?" said Edward and then growled at Jasper when he realised yes she did. "What the hell Jasper, she's not upset or agitated, why would you need to mess with her feelings?" "Just doing as I'm told" he mumbled and looking for once unsure of something Alice had told him to do.

 

Then as we entered the house, the Queen Bee herself came rushing up, looking for once hesitant, I was ecstatic. Outwardly I showed no signs that anything was different, but internally I was dancing and singing, for joy. She was about to get her comeuppance, it was long overdue. Carlisle came into view then, saying "I have called a meeting, well Alice asked me to call a meeting to discuss the wedding plans she'd made".

 

"Oh, I didn't know you two were getting married again!" I say as if clueless. "No, silly, you're wedding!" she says in that childlike voice I now know it affected, just so she gets her own way, but there is no real conviction behind her comment. "Alice? We had this conversation yesterday, you remember?  Don't you?" I ask her sounding confused.

 

I look around slowly and then ask Carlisle "I thought you never forgot anything?". "Esme you were there you know we did, you remember when Alice hurt me?" as I say this I pulled back my sleeve so they could all see them, a couple of handprints bruised onto my arm. Edward was growling loudly as was Rose.

 

 Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett were shocked and Esme hung her head in shame as she had done nothing to stop it yesterday. "But you changed your mind," she said "After my phone calls to you!" she looked determinedly at me, careful no one else saw. "Oh, the 3 mean texts and 2 bullying phone messages you sent Alice?" I asked raising my eyebrow, as I pulled a phone from my pocket. She grabbed for it and crushed it beyond redemption, "Oops!" is all she says. "That was my old phone, Alice, I knew you'd try something like that," I said.

 

I walked over to the house phone dialled a number and said "Now please Leah, thanks" with that everyone's phones buzzed with 3 incoming texts, the all gasped and growled and stared at Alice. "Now the voicemails please Leah, thanks for all your help" As the sound of Alice's petty and cruel voice fill the room she starts to charge toward the phone, Emmett grabs and restrains her as Jasper just looks blankly at her.

 

"Why? Why Alice?" asked Jasper sounding defeated, "Because she wouldn't let me do it my way, why else?" she replied as if that was an acceptable excuse. "All she had to do was agree with me, but no, the stupid human knows best!" she spat towards me. With that, Rose knocked her clean out of the room with a right hook and told her that it was on behalf of me because I couldn't do it without hurting myself. She winked at me as she turned back around and I nodded my thanks.

 

 Carlisle was mortified, he apologised for believing Alice's side of things and her obviously made up visions of what she'd seen. That she had gotten far too much leeway from everyone and that had to stop now. "No more," he said "We will all be making our own decisions and making our own choices and you will not interfere unless it is life threatening. And Alice, we will dress ourselves from now on, all of us! and that means you to Jasper "

 

"I'm so sorry darlin', I had no idea she was this out of control, I've been catching odd emotions over the last few days, but nothing this vindictive. I'm so sorry" poor Jasper was beside himself. "I'm going to take her away for a few weeks, somewhere remote, no internet, no credit cards and make her see how wrong she's been and the only one selfish here is her!" all the time he spoke he was looking at her and we could all feel the disappointment and humiliation he was projecting. She just stood there pouting, no really understanding that she had done something very wrong.

 

"I so sorry I didn't defend you yesterday Bella but she had me convinced you were just putting on a token show of defiance," Esme said. "Worse still she said you were not hurt and I believed her and didn't ask you! Can you forgive me?" she looked pleadingly at me. I gave her a hug and said it looked worse than it was.

 

Just as Jasper and Alice were leaving, she had still not said anything to me or apologised. So I gave her a small parting gift, of a Vegas themed Vampire wedding. We heard the scream from the bottom of the drive. Edward was laughing so hard he could barely tell the others, but when he did, Rose actually high fived me.

 

Now, what the hell did I really want my wedding to be like, decisions, decisions?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to S. Meyer. Otherwise, the rest is my musings on an AU.


End file.
